Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. People can and do change and marriages can change for the better. The many couples that have participated in the Retrouvaille Program over the years decided to make the investment in each other to continue their journey of marriage.
Do you have questions about The Weekend, the Post Sessions, payment options or other aspects of the program? Review our frequently asked questions. If you have a question that has not been covered feel free to contact us
What does "Marriage" mean to Retrouvaille?
Retrouvaille is faithful to the Roman Catholic Church’s teaching that marriage is a covenant that exists between one man and one woman. Any reference to marriage or couple made by Retrouvaille is in this context.
Whom is it for?
It is for couples in troubled marriages including separated or divorced couples who want their marriages to work. Many couples have experienced challenging issues such as infidelity, addiction recovery, long-term illness, blended family/parenting challenges, long distance relationships, in-law/family issues, financial hardship, or may have grown apart from each other. Many couples are facing the challenges of being newly married, while others may have been married for many years. A willingness to work on your marriage is the primary requirement. Both husband and wife are required to attend the program.
What form of payment is accepted?
Visa, MasterCard, Paypal or cheque.
How can we be sure our privacy is protected?
Privacy is paramount for us. Our attending couple’s names are not shared with any other organizations, parties, or individuals outside the Retrouvaille Community for any reason whatsoever. In fact, only your first name will be used throughout The Weekend. Sharing anything more than this will be completely up to you.
Will I be required to discuss my marriage or personal problems in front of other couples?
No, personal sharing is not required. The program is not a retreat or counseling environment. There are no group dynamics or group discussions on The Weekend. The entire experience is between you and your spouse. The focus is not on the details of your marriage, but rather to get you and your spouse communicating again in a meaningful way to help you heal and rediscover the love you once shared in a way that can be sustained.
What if my spouse says, "I don't love you anymore"?
Most people who divorce their spouse would say “I just don’t love him or her anymore.” They think this means that love has ended. What it really means is that the romantic version of love that attracted the two of you to each other in the beginning has ended.
The romance stage of almost every marriage relationships will end at some point as the relationship grows and transitions. If they are being honest, people in wonderful marriages will admit that they just don’t live in romantic bliss forever, but rather go through hot and cold periods during the course of the relationship. In strong marriages, the romance stage of the marriage transitions to a more mature, deeper type of love. Some couples are able to do this naturally, but most struggle with disillusionment and misery for far too long before seeking help. Couples come to the Retrouvaille program specifically because they have been unable to transition to this mature, deeper type of love. A very specific form of communication is taught in the program that will help you make that transition, even if things seem desperate.
I am no longer in love with my spouse. How can that be overcome?
This is extremely common for one spouse to be more disillusioned with the marriage than the other. You may be confident that issue will be thoroughly addressed during The Weekend.
Can our children come on the Weekend if we provide a babysitter?
The Weekend is a time that requires deep focus between you and your spouse. Much of this time will be in the privacy of your room. Any distractions would completely change the nature of the program for you, so we ask that you do all you can to find someone to watch your children and allow you to completely focus on your relationship during The Weekend. Children can be deeply affected by parents in a struggling marriage and will appreciate the growth and positive changes to your marriage and family life that they will be able to see from your attendance.
Will marriage counsellors be available at any of the retrouvaille events?
No. We do not provide professional counselors in the Retrouvaille Program. If you believe you need to consult a professional for your issues, most communities have a referral list of local counselors. Many marriage counselors suggest Retrouvaille as part of the counseling process.
Is there a dress code for the retrouvaille weekend and post sessions?
Please dress comfortably and casually. We want you to feel comfortable so you can focus on saving your marriage. However, keep in mind that some venues may get chilly when the air conditioning is on, so you may want to bring a sweater, pullover, or light jacket. That said, we do ask that couples refrain from wearing any clothing that may be a distraction to other couples. This includes provocative clothing, or any clothing that promotes specific causes or political beliefs.
We're still not sure about this Retrouvaille Weekend. We'd like to chat with a real person. Is there anyone we can speak with?
Each community has a dedicated Registration Couple that handles all questions related the Retrouvaille Program in their community. They will be able to assist you with all of the details about the program, registration information, directions, and any special dietary needs you may have.
English is not my primary language. Will that be a problem during the retrouvaille weekend?
If you can read an English newspaper or watch a news show on TV, and understand most of it, you should be fine. Do not worry about your speaking ability; if your spouse can understand what you are saying, you will be fine.
My spouse and I are very spiritual. Will there be any religious services available during the Retrouvaille Weekend?
There is a Mass or devotional service offered Saturday morning and a closing Mass or devotional service Sunday afternoon. While attending the weekend, all Couples are invited to participate in these religious services, though attendance is optional. Whatever your personal faith, you are welcomed and embraced and attendance is voluntary, of course.
My spouse and I are NOT spiritual at all. We have no interest in the religious services or doctrine.
This is not a problem at all. The services are voluntary, and do not affect the flow of the program at all. It is very common for some couples not to attend the services. Some couples do find they are open to the spiritual dimension of the program once they arrive, and others do not.
What if it doesn't work for us?
The Retrouvaille program can work for you if both of you give it your all and truly take what you learn to heart. However, the reality is that this is not always the case. Sometimes one spouse simply cannot get past their own pain for a myriad of reasons. Even in those cases where it does not work out, often both spouses come out of the program better people with new tools and understanding to carry forward into the rest of their lives, especially the level of communication required if children are involved. The Retrouvaille Program is a program of self-discovery and the tools learned on the weekend can apply to many areas of your life.
We did a Marriage Encounter Weekend, and that didn't help. How is this different?
This is a very common question. Marriage Encounter is a wonderful program, but it is designed to make good marriages better. If you did a Marriage Encounter weekend, you will find some similarities in Retrouvaille. Retrouvaille was founded by Marriage Encounter couples that saw that something more was needed for hurting couples. Retrouvaille takes some of the Marriage Encounter concepts, and builds on them extensively with a special focus on moving a marriage from misery to rediscovering the love you have for each other. Furthermore, Marriage Encounter ends at the weekend, while Retrouvaille offers all of the Post Sessions that focus heavily on managing conflict, building trust, achieving forgiveness, and so much more.
Why shouLd we choose the Retrouvaille program?
Because you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. A happy and strong marriage builds vibrant and successful families. It is also much more affordable than court costs, divorce attorneys, alimony, child support, and broken lives.
We have attended Retrouvaille already. Can we get involved with a local community and help?
Yes! Our community relies on volunteers wanting to share of themselves to help couples that are struggling. We have all walked a similar path and have something to give back.
Please contact us and let us know you willing to give of your time and energy to help!